Ok, we know this is a lot to read, but basically what it says is that the site is "for fun", go ahead and use it, but don't sue us if something goes wrong, we're doing our best.

With regards to paid-for merchandise, we offer 100% money back guarantee. If you don't like what you receive, send it back for a full refund. No questions asked.

With regards to privacy, well, we just won't rent or sell your personal infomation. Period. Read more here.

A. Acceptance of Terms

The Terms of Use ("TOU") are the only basis upon CSBC Ltd of Silverbeck Farm, Jumps Road, Churt, Farnham, GU10 2HL and Company Registration Number 5200963 ("CSBC"), will supply you with access to the JokeNews.co.uk website and its facilities, herein referred to as the "Service".

You may not make any changes to or modification of these terms. In selecting the 'I Accept' button you agree to be bound by all Terms and Conditions of the Service.

B. CSBC's Obligation to You

Subject to the TOU, CSBC will:

  1. Treat any personal information which you provide in a responsible manner.
  2. Refrain from selling or otherwise distributing any personal information which you provide to third parties, unless such disclosure is necessary to conform with legal and government requirements, or to protect and defend the rights or property of CSBC or enforce the TOU.
  3. Supply the Service using operating procedures designed to ensure the Service's security and System availability.
  4. Process any purchase transactions between you and CSBC in a responsible manner.
  5. Answer any queries you have regarding the TOU, Service and the operation of your account.

C. Your Obligation to CSBC

  1. You accept liability for some events which may occur. See Indemnification.
  2. You will read, acquaint yourself fully and comply with all aspects of the TOU. If there are any aspects which you do not fully understand you will seek clarification from CSBC.
  3. You are aged 18 or over.
  4. You will at all times use the Service in good faith and in a responsible manner.
  5. You will use the Service solely for your own benefit and will not sell, lease, assign, lend, hire or gift any part of the Service in whole or in part to any other person without CSBC's prior written approval.
  6. You will use the Service only for lawful purposes and in a manner which does not infringe the rights of or restrict or inhibit the use of the Service by CSBC or any other user.

You agree to abide by all applicable local, national and international laws and regulations and are solely responsible for all acts or omissions made by you including the content of your transmissions through the Service. By way of example, and not as a limitation, you agree NOT to:

  1. Defame, abuse, harass, or libel, threaten or otherwise violate the rights (such as rights of privacy and publicity) of others.
  2. Publish, distribute and/ or disseminate any harmful, obscene, indecent, unlawful, libellous, profane, defamatory, infringing, inappropriate, hateful, or racially, ethnically or otherwise objectionable material or information.
  3. Create a false or misleading identity of, including, but not limited to, a CSBC employee, or falsely state or otherwise misrepresent your affiliation with a person or entity, for the purpose of misleading others as to the identity of the sender or the origin of a message or to harvest or otherwise collect information about others.
  4. Transmit, email or post any material that contains in any form software viruses or such programs as including but not limited to, Trojan horses, worms, time bombs, cancel-bots, computer code, files or programs designed to interrupt, destroy or limit the functionality of any computer software or hardware or telecommunications equipment.
  5. Attempt to gain unauthorized access to the Service, computer systems or networks connected to the Service, through password mining or any other means.
  6. Disseminate content that infringes any patent, trademark, trade secret, copyright, rights of privacy or publicity, or other proprietary right ('Rights') of any party or infringes any intellectual property law or any other applicable law.
  7. Disseminate any unsolicited or unauthorized advertising, promotional materials, 'junk mail', 'spam', 'chain letters', 'pyramid schemes', or any other form of such solicitation.
  8. Interfere with anybody else's use and enjoyment of the Service.

Without prejudice to the Security and Member Privacy of the TOU, CSBC has no obligation to monitor the Service or any person's use thereof.

D. CSBC's Proprietary Rights

You acknowledge and agree that the JokeNews.co.uk content including but not limited to (1) text, (2) software, (3) photographs, (4) graphics, (5) page layout (6) design presented through and as part of the Service by CSBC is protected by copyrights, trademarks, service marks, patents, or other proprietary rights and laws.

Such content received through the Service may be displayed, reformatted, and printed by you for your personal, non-commercial use only and at all times used solely in connection with the Service in accordance with the TOU.

Certain of the names, logos, and other materials displayed on the JokeNews.co.uk web site constitute trademarks, copyright and other intellectual property collectively referred to as 'IP rights' of CSBC Ltd. Ownership of such IP rights remains with CSBC.

E. Disclaimer of Warranties

YOU UNDERSTAND AND AGREE THAT:

  1. Your use of the Service is at your sole risk.
  2. The Service is provided on an 'as is' and 'as available' basis and the warranties on the part of CSBC contained in this TOU are given in place of and replace, exclude and extinguish all and every other condition or warranty whatsoever on the part of CSBC, written or oral, whether express or implied by statute, regulation, directive or any other legislative or administrative enactment, common law, trade usage, custom or otherwise to the full extent permitted by law.
  3. The information and content included in or available through the Service may include inaccuracies or typographical errors.
  4. Changes are periodically added to the information contained with the Service and CSBC and/or its respective suppliers may make improvements and/or changes in the Service at any time.
  5. No advice or information, whether oral or written, obtained by you from CSBC or through the Service shall create any warranty not expressly stated in the TOU.

Except as otherwise expressly provided in the TOU, CSBC does NOT represent or warrant that:

  1. The Service will meet your requirements.
  2. The Service will be uninterrupted or error-free, timely or secure.
  3. Defects or errors will be corrected, or that the Service or the server that makes it available, are free of viruses or other harmful components.
  4. The use of or the results of the use of the Service or the content made available as part of the Service will be correct, accurate, timely, or otherwise reliable.
  5. The content of the Service input by other members is correct or accurate.

F. LIMITATION OF LIABILITY

YOU AGREE THAT CSBC SHALL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE OR LIABLE FOR:

  1. PROVIDED THAT CSBC HAS FULFILLED ITS SECURITY OBLIGATIONS, UNAUTHORISED ACCESS TO OR ALTERATION OF YOUR TRANSMISSIONS OR DATA, ANY MATERIAL OR DATA SENT OR RECEIVED OR NOT SENT OR RECEIVED, OR ANY TRANSACTIONS ENTERED INTO THROUGH THE SERVICE.
  2. ANY THREATENING, DEFAMATORY, OBSCENE, OFFENSIVE OR ILLEGAL CONTENT, SAVE THAT CSBC SHALL BE ENTITLED TO REMOVE IT IN ALL PRACTICABLE SPEED AFTER CSBC HAS BEEN NOTIFIED IN WRITING OF ITS PRESENCE ON THE SITE.
  3. CONDUCT OF ANY OTHER USER OR ANY INFRINGEMENT OF ANOTHER'S RIGHTS, INCLUDING INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY RIGHTS.
  4. ANY INDIRECT, PUNITIVE, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, CONSEQUENTIAL OR EXEMPLARY DAMAGES OR ANY DAMAGES WHATSOEVER INCLUDING, WITHOUT LIMITATION:
    • DAMAGES FOR LOSS OF USE;
    • DATA GOODWILL;
    • PROFITS, OR OTHER INTANGIBLE LOSSES;

ARISING OUT OF OR IN ANY WAY CONNECTED WITH:

  • USE OR PERFORMANCE OF THE SERVICE OR RELATED WEBSITES;
  • DELAY OR INABILITY TO USE THE SERVICE OR RELATED WEBSITES;
  • PROVISION OF OR FAILURE TO PROVIDE SERVICES, INFORMATION OR SOFTWARE;
  • SERVICES OBTAINED THROUGH THE SERVICE, OR OTHERWISE ARISING OUT OF THE USE OF THE SERVICE;
  • ERROR;
  • OMISSION;
  • INACCURACY;
  • INTERRUPTION;
  • DELETION;
  • DEFECT;
  • DELAY IN OPERATION OR TRANSMISSION;
  • COMPUTER VIRUS;
  • COMMUNICATION LINE FAILURE;
  • THEFT;
  • DESTRUCTION OR UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS;
  • ALTERATION;

WHETHER BASED ON CONTRACT, TORT, NEGLIGENCE, STRICT LIABILITY OR OTHERWISE - EVEN IF CSBC OR ANY OF ITS SUPPLIERS HAS BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF DAMAGES.

IF YOU ARE DISSATISFIED WITH THE SERVICE OR ANY PART OF THE SERVICE YOUR SOLE AND EXCLUSIVE REMEDY IS TO DISCONTINUE USING THE SERVICE AND ITS RELATED WEBSITE.

G. Indemnification

You agree to indemnify, defend and hold harmless CSBC, its parents, subsidiaries, affiliates, officers and employees from any claim, demand, or damage, including reasonable legal fees, asserted by any third party due to or arising out of your use of or conduct on the Service.

H. Modification and Termination of the Service

You agree that CSBC, in its sole discretion, may terminate your use of the Service, and remove and discard any content within the Service, for any reason, including without limitation, if CSBC believes that you have violated or acted inconsistently with the letter or spirit of the TOU.

CSBC may also, in its sole discretion and at any time, discontinue temporarily or permanently providing the Service, or any part thereof, with or without notice. You agree that any termination of access to the Service under any provision of the TOU may be effected without notice.

Further you agree that CSBC shall not be liable to you or any third party for any termination or suspension of access to the Service or modification of the Service.

I. Modifications to the TOU

CSBC reserves the right to change the TOU or policies regarding the use of the Service at any time.

CSBC reserves the right at any time to modify or discontinue, temporarily or permanently, the Service (or any part thereof) with or without notice. You agree that CSBC shall not be liable to you or any third party for any modification to or discontinuance of the Service.

J. TOU Violations

Please report any violations of the TOU to Customer Support at philip@JokeNews.co.uk

K. Entire Agreement

These TOU constitute the entire agreement between you and CSBC and supersede any previous agreement or understanding between you and CSBC.

L. Governing Law

These TOU shall be governed in all respects by English Law and the parties submit to the exclusive jurisdiction of the English law courts.
 
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